The Approved by Abbs Gifting Guidelines
More than just a gift guide.
Once again, we’ve arrived at the most magical time of year. This is my seventh Christmas as a New Yorker, and the lights and decor never gets old. While I love Christmas in the city (even though, tragically, the Saks Fifth light show is canceled this year), I’m already counting the days until I’m back home celebrating with my family.
Now that I’ve had my fill* of sweet potato casserole and chocolate pecan pie, I am zeroed in on holiday gifts. Every year, I swear I’ll get ahead of my shopping, and yet, somehow, December sneaks up on me. But, I’m not worried—I have my budget spreadsheet and a set of gifting principles to guide me.
This isn’t a gift guide; it’s a set of gifting guidelines. Think of it as a philosophy. You know the saying: Teach a man to fish…
Here are the three stars I follow when choosing gifts for the people I love. My goal is always to be thoughtful—sentimental, even—and to make sure that whoever is opening their gift knows how much they mean to me. I won’t claim to hit the mark every year, but I’m proud of the effort I put into each one.
*I could never be full of either sweet potato casserole or chocolate pecan pie. I could have both forever.
1. Something They Want, Something They Need, Something to Wear, Something to Read.
The foundational pillar of gifting. I heard this rhyme last year, and it clarified my approach entirely. When I first make my list, I think: What’s something they want? Something they need? Something they’d wear? Something they’d read? It’s especially helpful for those hard-to-shop-for people on your list. You can mix and match—get one thing from each category, or focus on just one.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
Wants: The cologne they’ve been eyeing, a board game they mentioned, or a restaurant gift card to a spot they’ve been meaning to try.
Needs: A water pick (as recommended by their dentist), cozy socks, a book light, or Uniqlo HeatTech essentials.
Wear: A new sweater, a hometown team jersey, workout clothes, or a scarf.
Reads: My boyfriend recommends The Way of Kings, the first book in Brandon Sanderson’s Stormlight Archive. (The fifth book is out this week, December 6th, for those who are caught up!) As for my recommendation, I’m always pushing Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton. If my friend hasn’t read it yet, it’s the gift I insist on giving.
2. A Few of My Favorite Things
This rule works well when shopping for people like yourself. For example, this would be my mom, sister, or best friends. If there’s a product, place, or activity you fell in love with this year, chances are they’ll love it too. Think about the things you couldn’t live without this year, and share that joy with them.
For example, these are some gifts inspired by my favorite things (from this year):
My bathrobe: Early this year, I invested in my first high-quality bathrobe, and now it’s the best part of my morning and nighttime routines. (If you FaceTime me on a weekend, there’s a 90% chance I’ll answer wearing it.) Robes can be pricey, but they’re worth it. I have the Cloud Cotton Robe from Parachute, but Brooklinen and Quince also have great options which are on sale right now!
Makeup haul: Three products I’ve been obsessed with this year: Merit’s Flush Balm in Cheeky, Saie’s Glowy Super Gel, and the Freck Original Freckle. Gifting your favorite beauty products—even in mini form—is more personal than a gift card or getting something you think they’d like, because it’s coming from your pedestal of favorites to their stockings.
Pilates classes: If you know me, you know I’m an unapologetic Pilates princess. It’s an hour of my day when I feel strong and centered. For New Yorkers, Studio Lato in Greenpoint is my go-to class and space. The vibe is immaculate and the teaching is so thoughtful. Class is a perfect balance of traditional and contemporary practices, and flows seamlessly for both beginners and pros. You can gift (or add to your own list!) one class or a pack of them. Pro-tip, if classes from the pack aren’t used during the month of December, they will roll over to January!
3. Make It Personal
When working within a strict budget (as I often am), personalization is the key to making even the smallest gifts feel meaningful.
Last year, I gave my mom and sister tote bags embroidered with their business logos (we’re a family of entrepreneurs). For my girlfriends, I bought different shades of red nail polish and labeled them with witty, pun-filled names inspired by their own.
Other ideas: custom matchbooks ( I just ordered some from For Your Party), or monogrammed items. In the city, Abbode in SoHo has a massive selection of items you can have embroidered, each more chic than the next.
Personal gifts don’t need to have their name on it; they can be nod to a shared trip between you two, an play on an inside joke, or a commemoration of their hyper-fixation of the year. For example, if I were gifted anything Pride and Prejudice-related this season, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised.
Bonus: Shop Local
If you’re in New York, you have the city at your fingertips. A candle for someone? Get it at the local apothecary in the West Village. Cookware? Thrift it at a vintage shop in Sunnyside. There’s no shortage of markets and boutiques to browse for the perfect present.
Some favorites:
Rider Gifts (Park Slope)
The Six Bells (County-Inspired Homegoods, Cobble Hill)
Greenwich Letterpress (West Village)
Big Night (dinner party goods, West Village and Greenpoint)
Lockwood Gifts (multiple locations)
Fishs Eddy (Flatiron)
The Locavore Variety Store (Greenwich Village)*
(A friend introduced me to Locavore, which is better known as a digital directory for local shopping. If you can’t find a store near you, their website has plenty of options.)
If you’re not in the city, pick a local spot in your town. Every time your loved one sees or uses that gift, they’ll think of you—and the place you call home.
Of course, you can use these guidelines year-round with birthday gifts and more. Most importantly, never let gift-giving feel like an obligation. To me, it’s a designated time to show some love and give someone something to bring with them into the new year.
Share your go-to gifting guidelines in the comments!
Expect to see a lot from me leading up to the holidays with recs like these and more! Let me know what you wanna know about below :)
Till then,
Abby